C’mon, dude. You already get credit for the laws of motion, that cool apple story, and the tasty fig cookies. Let me have this.
I know it stings to fail a test that badly. But hey, silver lining: you’re so far into the area below the curve that you’re practically an integral.
I’ll put it this way: You don’t seem to understand me yet, but you keep getting closer.
Dear “Ordinary” Differential Equations,
How does it feel to know you’re not special?
-Partial Differential Equations
Dear “Partial” Differential Equations,
How does it feel to know you’re not complete?
-Ordinary Differential Equations
Dear Mean Value Theorem,
Please, show mercy! I beg you, have a heart!
The Kind Value Theorem
Dear Local Maximum,
Mr. Big Shot, huh? You are just a mid-sized fish in a very big pond, my friend. Watch yourself.
-The Global Maximum
Dear Television Series,
Pssh. You call yourselves “series”? You’re finite! What fun is that?
Dear Related Rates Problems,
You guys are like snowflakes—each of you is totally unique! And if there are enough of you, it’s safer to call off school and stay home.
I know you called this unit Optimization, but I’m feeling more like Pessimization right now.
Dear Global Minimum,
Whenever I feel down about myself, I just look at you and I think, “Hey, at least I’m not that guy.” So thanks for being the lowest of the low!
To answer your question: Yes, I would say that the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus is something you should know for this calculus course. It’s very useful. Crucial, even. Heck, you might even call it “fundamental.”
You misunderstood me! When I called the behavior at that point “discontinuous,” I meant it like, “Dis be continuous, mon.”
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
Now I can’t finish a calculus test without whispering (and then screaming) “THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.” Thanks a lot.
If acceleration is the derivative of velocity, and velocity is the derivative of position, then what is position the derivative of? Did I just blow your mind?
Dear 1950s Alabama,
What’s your problem? Integration is easy—here, I’ll show you.
Dear Product Rule and Chain Rule,
I finally tracked you down! Don’t deny it: You’re my parents, aren’t you?
First, you endanger everybody on this crew by pulling that ladder away from the wall at a constant velocity. And now you want help creating a mathematical model for the consequences of your irresponsibility? Here’s a consequence: You’re fired.
You’re so inconsiderate. It’s like you don’t even notice I’m there!
I realize it saves fence if you use the river as one border of your pasture, but aren’t you worried about us falling into the water? I’m not sure we can swim!
Want to race? You can even have a head start.
Remember, doing a u-substitution is like the aftermath of a break-up. You go through and clear away all the signs of your ex, until there’s nothing left but you.
If the best student in our class maintains an A, and the worst student manages to raise his grade until it’s also an A, wouldn’t you have to give the rest of us A’s, based on the squeeze theorem?
Dear f(x) = 1782x2 + 1,
I’m sorry to say it, but you’ve got a huge concavity.
Dear Infinite Sequence,
Never mind. We thought somebody said “infinite sequins.”
Why did you take off points for the question about finding a formula for dy/dx for the curve x2 + y2 = 16? I mean, sure, I didn’t actually write anything down, but I figured it was implicit.
Shall we use the guillotine? Or do you prefer that we revolve this rope around the axis of your neck? Vive la resistance!
-Solids of Violent Revolution