We all know the word “average” is slippery. Are you talking about the mean? The median? The mode? The family next door, regardless of how atypical your door is?
But wait. The word “mean,” while seeming precise, is actually just as multifaceted and ambiguous as “average.” Consider all the things we might mean by “mean…”
1. Arithmetic Mean. The classic one you’re probably thinking of.
2. Geometric Mean. Useful when you’re dealing with some kind of multiplicative process, like averaging growth rates. Never larger than the arithmetic mean.
3. Harmonic Mean. Great for averaging rates. Also great for seeming like a knowledgeable insider in the world of averaging, into the cool indie means your friends haven’t even heard of.
4. Slothometric Mean. Beloved by those adorably lazy three-toed mammals we all know and love (i.e., opinion columnists).
5. Politicometric Mean. The essence of democracy. For better or worse.
6. FOMO-metric Mean. A novel 21st-century computation for summarizing a complex reality in a way that makes you feel terrible.
7. Resumetric Mean. A form of data interpolation, allowing you to take credit not just for the things you actually did, but for the whole latent distribution of things you, like, totally could‘ve done.
8. Vaguemetric Mean. Useful whenever you have a nonsense number in need of a fancy title.
“When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less” Humpty Dumpty
Love this so much Ben! I’ve always thought the geometric mean was underappreciated and the harmonic mean is strangely absent from the HS curricula I’ve taught (despite the persistence of “work/rate” problems). And now there are more unsung means to celebrate!
Made me think, then imagine, then giggle, then to chuckles!
And the “mean” mean – whichever of these measures makes you the angriest, based on your personal opinion of the situation?
You are my hero! You understand what it means to be responsible for works such as gods envy and men worship in terror!
But wait….
Where did you find my resume?
average sized prize for “some of the data divided by ‘eh?'”
Ha! You make math so fun! There are so many words that confuse people…. i.e., if we can eat prime ribs, why not composite ribs? How do you turn down the volume when checking the space it contains? Can you set a table with values? What do really mean to say? 🙂
Hi Ben! Can you please change my reply name to Jeanne Lazzarini in stead of 834gknee? 🙂
Because that’s really what I “mean” by my name! Ha! 🙂