The Truly Common Core

Contrary to popular opinion, U.S. mathematics education has for decades achieved near-universal success in its goals. Virtually all citizens acquire a set of “core” mathematical competencies, which they use to great effect throughout their lives.

All that remains is to articulate, for the public, precisely what those goals and competencies are…

Proposal for the Adoption of the
Truly Common Core Standards, p. 37

  1. Students will learn to deflect any and all mathematical conversations with self-effacing phrases like ā€œIā€™m not really a math person” and “Ha, numbers are the worst, right?”uncommon core 1
  2. Students will groan amiably when asked to calculate a tip.uncommon core 2
  3. Students will internalize a deep and nameless sense of intellectual inferiority. uncommon core 3Ā 
  4. Students will consider multiple representations of mathematical ideas, and find them all equally baffling.uncommon core 5
  5. Students will revere mathematics as a kind of magic. Boring, irrelevant magic.Image (6)
  6. Students will blithely defer to dubious statistics – except for any statistics that challenge their preconceptions, which they will reject out of hand.Image (7)
  7. When faced with an unfamiliar problem, students will cross their fingers and combine the numbers at random.Image (8)
  8. Students will look up one day, decades into adulthood, and realize with a sense of scandal and outrage that they never actually needed any algebra. uncommon core 4

13 thoughts on “The Truly Common Core

  1. In a just world, Ben, you would be the Secretary of Education and Betsy DeVos would be doodling away in some cold hinterland state, but oh well.
    Just sayin’….

  2. Ha! I loved the one where the child combines numbers at random… so relatable. Shared it with my friends šŸ™‚

    1. It may be related to / inspired by “How Old is the Shepherd?”, which should be Googled and watched if you haven’t already done so.

Leave a Reply