Report Cards for Famous Mathematicians

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21 thoughts on “Report Cards for Famous Mathematicians

  1. Evariste Galois gets an A+ in math and gets a D in behavior. Evariste is a very creative mathematician with potential for greatness. But he needs to get along better with others. Getting into fights is not the way to succeed.

  2. I am missing Heisenberg’s report card here. “Werner refuses to give an exact answer and seems to be proud of his uncertainty.”

  3. I have referred Paul Erdos to the vice pricipal for violating our no tolerance policy on drugs. Furthermore, he refuses to use his own locker, but uses his friends lockers instead.
    This was a difficult decision, because he is very popular with the other students.

  4. To Leibniz: As the great Tom Lehrer said, “I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky. In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics: Plagiarize!”

  5. Brook Taylor: B
    Always gets the right answer, but insists on only using polynomials. Next semester Brook needs to work on getting comfortable using other functions.

  6. Benoit Mandelbrot C+, great at drawing designs but keeps going on and on and on about perimeters. Next time he should work on calculating areas as his answers were always zero…

    • Feynman and Einstein were theoretical physicists, which is pretty close to mathematics. I suppose it could be argued that Turing was a theoretical computer scientist, but that’s still really close to mathematics.

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  8. A-L Cauchy: A-. Excellent work, but he is continuously testing everyone’s limits

    A Grothendieck: Incomplete. Did amazing work, but was always hatching new and complicated schemes. In the middle of class one day, he suddenly walked out and disappeared into the mountains.

    E Noether: A. We were all impressed in PE how she climb the long chains. While there might be change all around her, she seems invariant and hold firmly to her ideals.

  9. Georg Cantor: D. He keeps asking stupid questions about the foundations of the material instead of working through the application problems.

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  11. If Euclid got B I wonder about Hilbert’s grade. Expanding axioms from 5 to 21 showing Euclid’s work as freakishly hand waving.

    I was in course called “Axiomatic Euclidean Geometry” which used Hilbert’s axioms and only referenced Euclid’s axioms briefly.

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