Visitor: Hi, excuse me. I’m sorry. But I was wondering if you have any better art.
Tour Guide: Better art?
Visitor: I mean, take that sculpture over there. The happy, fit, attractive person depicted in a totally positive and humanizing light.
Tour Guide: Which one?
Visitor: Exactly! All the sculptures are like that. Or look at that painting of people just napping, while the others give each other backrubs and prepare salads.
Tour Guide: You mean “The Serenity of Having No Problems”? Is there something wrong with it?
Visitor: It’s just not… very… interesting. Don’t you have anything by tortured geniuses?
Tour Guide: Excuse me?
Visitor: You know, like somebody with severe bipolar disorder who chopped off his own ear? Or a miserable, single-minded savant who toiled in poverty in order to follow her muse?
Tour Guide: No… nothing like that… All our artists live very happy lives.
Visitor: See, that’s what I was afraid of. What about oppression? Any artists from oppressed and tormented groups? Whose music or painting offered them a rare chance to forge an identity beyond the narrow confines of their societally prescribed role?
Tour Guide: I’m sorry, but in Utopia there’s no oppression.
Visitor: C’mon, there must be some oppression. Who do you marginalize?
Tour Guide: Nobody…?
Visitor: But who do you rag on? Like, who do you stereotype negatively? Who’s underrepresented in government and media? Or… ooh! Here’s the right question: Who has to suppress their language and culture to achieve any financial success in society?
Tour Guide: I don’t think you understand. Every community in Utopia is honored and valued.
Visitor: Ugh. You people.
Tour Guide: If you’re disappointed with the museum, we’d be happy to offer you a full refund.
Visitor: But it was free! Everything here is free!
Tour Guide: Well, we still like to offer.
