The Asymptote. This representation of one of the coolest behaviors a function can have is also good for germaphobes afraid of physical contact.
The Point-Slope. It’s not just the best form for a linear equation. Now, it’s also the best form for a spontaneous expression of enthusiasm and/or friendship.
The Tangency. “Let’s high-five!” “No, let’s fist-bump!” This argument has unfolded thousands of times, at least in my mind. The solution: a high-five lying tangent to a fist. The geometric best of both worlds!
Completing the Square. This indispensable algebraic technique is now also a technique for securing the the wide-eyed respect and burning envy of bystanders. As they say: “Every good high-five is a visual metaphor for friendship.”
The Distributive Fist Bump. If fists were numbers, and bumping were multiplication, then oh what a world that would be.
The High Five with No Real Solutions. This is a high-five so complex, so cool, so imaginary, that the collision between the hands is invisible to the naked eye, taking place in a higher-dimensional space than our meager “real” world. (Also useful as a post-hoc excuse when you accidentally whiff on a regular high-five.)
The High Roman Five. How did they celebrate in Rome, you ask? Probably like this. (But don’t ask historians. They’re conspiring to conceal this cool high-five for themselves.)
The Exponential. For situations when your enthusiasm is growing so rapidly that a polynomial high-five just won’t suffice.
The High 10, Base Five. What is math for, if not giving a fancy technical name to a totally intuitive object that has been around for ages?
The Inverse Five. Every operation needs its inverse: addition has subtraction, exponentials have logarithms, differentiation has integration. Now, if you need to undo a regrettable high-five, the power is in your hands. Literally.
The Conjugation Five (fgf-1). An expert-level high-five. Don’t try this at home until you have spoken seriously with your family about the fact that, even though you are growing more amazing than they can ever truly fathom, you still love them just as much.
The Transitive Five. That’s right. High fives are transitive. Which means that you now get credit for high-fiving everyone who’s ever high-fived anyone that you high-fived. What I’m saying is that I’m pretty sure you and I just high-fived, and it was the best.
Filmed in 2014 in the lobby of my high school; this is pretty much what a regular day is like there. Thanks to my gorgeous hand models: Alex George, Ben Miller, Becca Thal, Miriam Newman, Jon Kominsky, and Mr. Rob Sherry. For a little more detail on the math, hold your mouse over each gif.
