Math with Bad Drawings

The Religions of Academia


Mathematics: God laid down axioms, and all else followed trivially.

Law: In the beginning, God gave His creatures free will, wisely limiting His own liability for any damage they might cause.

Computer Science: God threw something together under a 7-day deadline. He’s still debugging.

History: God wrote the Bible, which claims that the heavens and earth were created by God. This is exactly why you can’t always trust primary sources.

Literary Theory: After creating the world, God left scant evidence of His existence, as a deliberate exploration of the problematic nature of authorship.

Political Theory: When God created the world, He made sure to favor incumbents, being one Himself.

Economics: God created us in His own image, as rational consumers. But as sinners, we strayed.

Physics: God modeled the universe on the card game Mao: There are lots of strange rules and He refuses to explain any of them.

Chemistry: On the second day, God created entropy, to make sure the universe would turn itself off if He accidentally left it running.

Psychology: God said “Let there be light,” but what did He mean by that?

Political Science: In the beginning, God created the heavens and earth: pork-barrel construction projects that greatly benefited His district.

Medicine: In the beginning, God created a great clinical trial, although He hasn’t told us yet whether mankind received the treatment or the placebo.

Accounting: On the sixth day, God created man, whom he tasked with conducting a proper audit of His other creations.

Finance: God invested His creatures with life, and has received only a middling return on investment.